Sunday, April 10, 2005
Ahh, Clomid
OK, the Clomid is doing weird things. At least, I'm blaming it all on the Clomid. While taking it, it wasn't so bad ( 2 nights of night sweats - CD6 & 7), but now I'm really getting it. I was at church this morning working in the nursery (baby therapy!), and all of a sudden, I am so hot I can't breathe. Sweating like you wouldn't believe. I think to myself, "Is it worth all this?" (sigh) I look at the baby I'm holding, and say to myself, "Yes. A hundred times, yes." Please, God, let me conceive a baby, carry it for 9 months, and bring it home to love. Please, God. Besides the hot flashes, my temps are staying WAY up on my chart! This worries me, of course, because now I wonder if they will drop soon enough so FF is now all confused and can't tell me when I ovulate. And, of course, I still need a computer to tell me if I've ovulated. If I don't see that solid red coverline, I get worried! (sigh)
Wow, if I do end up pregnant, this will be a LONG 9 months. I can already tell I will be worrying about every little thing. My poor husband. He wants to "let go and let God." He wants it to happen when its meant to happen. I am SO the opposite. I want God to bless us in His time, of course, but I want to help Him out as much as I can! I think Chris is starting to feel like nothing more than a sperm donor. Gotta work on that. Can't let him feel like a baby is more important to me than he is. He is my life...that's why I want to give him this gift - the gift of carrying his child! Please, God...let this happen.
| posted by Anna at 3:57 PM
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Carolyn Tucker, MA, LAPC had this to say:
oh, Anna, what a wise woman to be concerned that your husband feel like more than a sperm donor! WHat does it profit a man if he gains the whole world yet loses his soul? I don't want to lose sight of my husband either! I'll pray for us both! Rose
