Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Letting Go
Chris and I had a huge fight. I said some really bad things. I got mad because he isn't really into this whole idea of "trying" to have a baby. He wnts it to "just happen." Well, me too. But I guess my body doesn't work that way. I accused him of not wanting kids and then I accused him of being GLAD that our baby died. OUCH. I guess maybe I can blame it on the Clomid...claim the insanity defense. Anyway, we made up today (after he spent the night in the guest room, of course) and I think we'll be OK. I made him hide the thermometer and all my books. I told him I'd give up the charting and temping and all that, and we'd just see what happens. I might pick it back up in a few months, but for now, I'm taking a break. A much-needed break. Maybe some sanity will return to my life. God, I hope so. I can't let myself get so caught up in this TTC thing that I hurt the one person I love the most in the world. I've got to stop being such a control freak and LET GO.
| posted by Anna at 6:42 PM
