Thursday, June 01, 2006
My Angels
It just hit me that today, I should be holding a one-year-old. My first pregnancy ended too soon, and the baby that I lost should be one year old today. That baby is spending his or her day in heaven today, while I hold a living, three month old angel in my arms. Andrew is such a gift. Its weird to think about the fact that he would never have existed if my first baby had stuck around. I feel very conflicted about it. Its not that I'm glad that my angel didn't stay with us; its just that I'm so very glad to have Andrew! I know I would never have known the difference had I never miscarried...but to think about not having his big, beautiful smile waiting for me every morning...his arms flinging about, just begging me to pick h im up...his legs kicking and scooting his body away from me (reminding me that he'll be running around - away from mommy - far too soon for my tastes)...it makes me sad, and so very, very grateful for my baby boy.Happy not-to-be birthday, my angel.
Thank you God, for my Andrew.
| posted by Anna at 2:14 PM
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Kathy McC had this to say:
((((hugs))))
