Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Ummm....
I'm officially 3 days late. Well, 3 days late according to the incredibly regular pattern my cycles have taken on ever since Andrew arrived. Why, oh why couldn't I have been this regular and predictable BEFORE? Its driving me crazy. Am I pregnant? Or is it just my body working out the kinks and returning to its crazy, unpredictable state? My mind just can't deal with the possibility that, after a year and three cycles of Clomid to conceive Andrew, that it might be easy with the second. No, I have not tested. And now that I'm blogging about this, AF will probably show up. I hope she does. With the lengths we've gone to in order to avoid conceiving right now, it would be a MIRACLE if I am preggo. I mean, I'll have a church meeting and tell everyone this baby is sent right from God if I AM pregnant. But, I have to say, this scare has proven to me that I'm just not ready for another child. I mean, if I'm pregnant I'll gladly take the challenge. I'm pro-life, and I mean REALLY pro-life. I was raped at 14 and was even pro-life with faced with the possiblity of pregnancy back then, so having a second child with my dear-sweet-wonderful husband is a no-brainer. But if I have a choice, I'd rather wait. Andrew is just so much fun. And soooooo easy. Even when I complain about ear infections and colds and getting up at 3 am to settle him down after he's awakened himself by rolling over, I still love the kid more than life itself. I actually enjoy the midnight cuddles and the way he needs me when he's not feeling right. I love the way he buries his face in my neck and breathes that big, contented sigh. It just wouldn't be fair to him to already have to be the older child. He deserves to get all the hugs and kisses and attention for a while...I don't know. This is just so random. Here's hoping AF shows up soon. And if not, well...God grant me the strength to do this thing (and do it RIGHT!)...
| posted by Anna at 11:16 AM
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Kathy McC had this to say:
Wow...Keep us posted. Hope everything works out the way it's meant to. :)
