Saturday, December 24, 2005
The Fear Never Truly Disappears
Its been a long time since I felt it...that fear that something is wrong and there's nothing I can do to stop it. But its here now and I need to freak out a little. Normally, I feel Andrew constantly. I mean constantly...walking, sitting, cooking, cleaning...constantly. Since about 21 weeks he's been only getting stronger and stronger in his movements. Yesterday, however, I only felt him three times. Granted, we were busy traveling and seeing family and friends for Christmas stuff, but still. Last night I laid in bed and prayed to feel him kick me. I got 10 kicks in about 20 minutes, but normally I get 10 kicks in less than 5 minutes. This morning, I laid there and tried to feel him and, again, 10 kicks in about 20 minutes. I know I'm probably freaking out for no reason, but I'm just used to feeling him move so much more than that. I can just imagine him in there with his cord around his neck or something. God, what a nightmare. Somebody please talk me down from the ledge. Tell me he's growing and running out of room for the acrobatics I'm so used to feeling. Tell me he's resting more because of a big growth spurt he's going through. Tell me he's OK and I'm just a freaking lunatic.
I just wish I had already been through one successful pregnancy so I could know what's normal and what's not. Hopefully THIS will be the pregnancy I can look back on to prove to myself that I can do this and next time I can breathe a little easier.
| posted by Anna at 11:12 AM
