Chris doesn't want to know when my peak days are...I have to think up something really creative to seduce him. Any ideas?? I've got some ideas. I just hope it works. I can't help but feel all the hormone treatments are POINTLESS if we don't make love on those precious few days before O. Last month we had a huge fight right before O and only got ONE BD session in before the egg dropped. So, though there was technically a small chance, it was TINY and I figured there would be no BFP for me. I do NOT enjoy putting myself through all this for nothing, so I figure if it doesn't happen this month, I will not do Clomid anymore. I mean, if Chris doesn't want to really TRY to have a baby, then what's the point? I can ovulate all I want, but if I don't have his cooperation what's the point?? It takes an egg AND a sperm. He lives in a fantasy world where every baby is a wonderful surprise and no one has to actually target certain days for BD'ing...Great thought, and I certainly wish that were true for us, but its apparently NOT.
I think the problem is that he is scared. Scared out of his mind. He hates change, and this would be a huge change. He says he'd be thrilled if I were pregnant and he would love to have a baby...he just doesn't want to think about it. I don't understand it. And he doesn't care about how much I want this, how important it is to me...I think if he did care, he'd be keeping the promise he made back in January. (He promised me that if I weren't pregnant by March he'd do whatever he needed to in order to help conceive a child. Guess he assumed I'd be pregnant by then and he wouldn't have to make good on that promise.)
OK, enough ranting.
What else happened this week...Oh, I turned in my portfolio! I've been working on earning my teaching certificate for about 2 years. (I've been teaching on a provisional certificate.) Anyway, it was a LONG two years, and quite stressful, so I'm glad its done. Now I just have to deal with the fear that somehow my portfolio will be denied and I won't be permitted to teach anymore. Geez, I need to learn how to relax. Sometimes I think I make up stuff to stress out about 'cause I just don't know how to relax. I should get final confirmation on my portfolio sometime this month...I hope. If not this month, then by mid-June. I am excited. My certificate will be upgrade two levels, which amounts to about a $12,000 raise. BIG money. So, my portfolio had better be accepted 'cause we'll be struggling financially if its not. (Chris used to be a youth pastor at a local church but was "encouraged" to resign last Sept. over something really STUPID so he's been trying some new things but hasn't had a steady paycheck since then.) We're fine for now, and I know we'll be OK...God has always taken care of us. Why would He stop now? But, still, having my certificate and getting that HUGE raise would definitely help.
God, please, let this all fall into place SOON.
| posted by Anna at 4:55 PM
-
Jillian had this to say:
Anna, I know what you mean about the guys not wanting to know when the HAVE to BD! My first two babies were conceived without DH ever being outright told it was 'time'. Although he had a fairly good idea that 4 or 5 nights in a row might be 'time'!
Last time and this time, he is aware and happy to do it most of the time, but I am putting in BIG efforts to keep it interesting for both our sakes;)
It also makes a difference for them once they have first hand experience of succesfully parenting other kids. He was terrified over 1 & 2 but relaxed over 3 & now this one. Your DH is so perfectly average...sorry 'bout that!
Good luck!-
Anna had this to say:
Thanks for the reassurance. I was wondering if my DH was the only one out there who was resisting all the BD'ing he was getting! LOL! Glad to know this is kinda normal!
-
Carolyn Tucker, MA, LAPC had this to say:
Anna-
I have a dear friend who was infertile for 12 years before adopting. She says it ruined her sex life (she's 50 now). Her husband STILL is not able to be interested. She firmly believes it is from all the stress ttc. I took this as very wise advice, and NEVER make it about o. Some of my goals are to make sure to be available, interested and initiating all thru the month. ALways keep a playful air of sensuality around (what a gift God has given married people!) and Try to be new and innovative (within the boundaries of what's not sinful, and there is alot of room for fun there!).There is a book called "Sheet Music" by Dr. Kevin Lehmann, do you know him? He wrote "the Birth Order Book". He is a very Godly man, and this is a very graphic book about what appeals to men(and women), how they think, and how to make your sex life better. Not that yours is struggling, but it has some great ideas for keeping things interesting. Be warned, it is graphic, but very Godly. Made a big difference in my approach!
My last thought is that in talking to my mom and mother in law, who both have sick husbands (my dad has even had to spent time in a nursing home short term even though he's young) I have come to realize that there may be a time when I can't sleep in the same bed with my husband,that there will be a final time that I will be intimate with him. This hits me every time I think of it. I want to make the most of every opportunity I have to be intimate with my husband. Especially if your husband is struggling with work, he's feeling it in the self esteem and responsibility departments. Build him up, Make it about pleasing him and God, and I believe that your husband will respond. Mine did.
God bless you Anna- Rose-
Anna had this to say:
Thanks, Rose...I appreciate your advice and WISDOM. I will have to read that book. :) I'm trying to keep it entertaining and spontaneous...I tell him all the time its only possible to get pg about 2-3 days a month, so when I'm all over him ALL MONTH LONG, its obviously NOT all about O! :)
Anyway, thanks again...Love ya.
