Thursday, June 02, 2005
I Will Survive
Well, I survived the day I've been dreading for about 8 months...I kept myself busy and when I did start to get sad, I just prayed and talked to God about the hurt and disappointment. I feel a great sense of peace, and I feel like I will now truly start to heal. Getting past the due date was a big deal to me. I know people probably think I'm crazy for even remembering the day because the loss happened SO early, but it was a really big deal to me, so yeah...I remembered. Anyway, Chris reads my blog and so he was reminded of the importance of the day, and he was really sweet to me all night. We went to see Star Wars with some friends, which was a good distraction. (Loved the movie! Very dark, but I wasn't in an exactly giddy mood, so it was appropriate, I guess.) I was reminded over and over of the good things in my life. Of course, I still would love to be a mom, but even if that never happens, I am truly blessed.That being said, I am 11 DPO today! :) Chris says he just "has a feeling" that I'm pregnant. I've been teasing him that there's triplets floating around in there. Haha...Man, I hope I'm pregnant. I really want to test tomorrow but am worried that it is too soon and will probably just be negative since my LP is usually about 16 days. I should wait, I know, but those Dollar Tree tests are just sitting in my bathroom cabinet, taunting me. Heck, they're only a dollar...why not? I guess MAYBE, if my temp is still up tomorrow, I MIGHT test. MAYBE. Still thinking on it. (Somebody talk me out of this, please!) OK, I'm officially going crazy here!
| posted by Anna at 8:44 PM
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Julie had this to say:
Of COURSE your due date was important to you. It still marks something that should have been, and that is always sad. Especially when it is something you want so desperately. Keeping my fingers crossed for your BFP!!!
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Jillian had this to say:
Well I guess you didn't test...well done:) I always intend to wait til 12dpo and you have already passed that now if you are only using fmu.
As for remembering your due date - all of us do what is right for US to heal. And the people smart enough to deal with their issues in blogland all understand that. And that won't be the last time you feel really awful about it either, but you have done well to get through that day in one piece.
