Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Today's the Day

Well, today is my due date for my little lost baby. I have to go to school and put on a happy face, but inside I am crying my eyes out. Today, I should be holding (or getting very close to holding) my little one. Instead, here I am, still trying to conceive. I had so hoped I would be pregnant before my due date. Somehow I thought that would help me heal, that getting pregnant again would make me forget and "make it all better." I guess this is God's way of showing me that no baby can replace another, and trying to forget or cover up my loss is fruitless. No baby can replace the one I lost.

Anyway, today I will be in teacher's meetings, trying to listen and act all interested, but I'm actually going to be nursing that hole in my heart and hoping that, once this day is past, I will finally be able to get on with life.





4 Comments:
Blogger Jillian had this to say:

Anna, I'm so sorry. I am sure all those anniversaries through the first 12 months - the due date and the m/c date - are going to be amongst the hardest of all the days you ever have. I am yet to get to any of those but thankfully/hopefully I will be lucky enough to have a distraction.

I just hope that come test day this month, some of your hurt will be taken away and that you will have a new focus to help you over the humps in the coming weeks and months. ((Hugs))

 

Blogger Anna had this to say:

Jill - Thank you! You made me cry! But ina good way. Its good to know people care and don't think I'm weird for still being sad. I hate that something like this had to bring us together, but I'm glad to have your support. (((hugs))) Hope you are feeling well (or SICK if that makes you feel better about the pregnancy!) :)

 

Blogger Julie had this to say:

Jill, I am thinking of you today. Those anniversaries, like everything else do get easier, but the first ones are rough. We are here for you. (((hugs)))

 

Blogger Anna had this to say:

Thank you, Julie! DH is taking me to a movie tonight to help take my mind off it. Part of me wants to sit home and cry, but I know that would serve no purpose, so I will go and laugh and think of all of the good things in my life. Thanks again for the sweet words and thoughts! (((hugs)))

 

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Keeping the Faith


This is me, sharing my journey through struggling to conceive, surviving miscarriage, and, finally, receiving the greatest blessing ever...the gift of a healthy, beautiful little boy.

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Location: Smalltown, Georgia, United States

I'm a Christian. My husband is my very best friend. After much turmoil, including two miscarriages, our family is now complete with our handsome son and beautiful daughter!

annairvin@hotmail.com

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