Friday, October 14, 2005
The hussy!
Cat's oft-mentioned "friend," Hope, has been hanging around my house for several days now. If its not her, its her evil twin. She's a hussy, that one. She's making me forget all the bad crap (I'm trying to watch my tongue) that could still happen and leading me into this blissful state of "half-baked baby" expectations. 19 weeks is a big deal to me. I know MANY women who safely delivered their babies at 38 weeks, so to me, 19 weeks is halfway home! However, I have also recently come to know some marvelous women who have lost their precious, dearly loved babies well past 19 weeks. So why should I be so confident and happy? Hope is whispering in my ear each night, speaking to me about cute baby things and baby registries and the wonderful thrill of finding out if we're having a boy or girl...Thing is, I want to listen to her. I want to be happy and enjoy this and savor every moment, because I'll never be 19 weeks pregnant with my first child ever again. My body has never been here before and, though I might be here again one day, it'll never be like the first time...I feel like I'm in a stupid cartoon, but instead of an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, I've got Hope on one shoulder and Worry on the other. Hope says, "You're going to be fine! This baby is going to be strong and healthy! Nothing to worry about!" Worry says, "But what about all those women who had stillborn babies? They all thought their babies were safe, too!" Sigh. I just want to be one of those naive, ignorant pregnant hussies who we all hate...just one day. Is that so wrong?
| posted by Anna at 3:28 PM
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Jillian had this to say:
That's not wrong:( I know what you mean - no matter how long my pregnancy lasts, it's gonna be looong:(
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Kathy McC had this to say:
I wish I was an ignorant pregnant hussy...
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cat had this to say:
I wish we were all ignorant pregnant hussies. Hope can be a good companion she means well.
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laura had this to say:
it's too late for naivete and ignorance, but it's not too late to let yourself have hope. you know that there is a tiny, tiny, tiny chance that something could happen, but even if it did, you would regret it if you had shortchanged yourself - or this baby - from the excitement and anticipation and love you both deserve. let hope have her way with you.
