Honestly, I don't want anyone to ever suffer like this. I really wouldn't wish this on ANYONE, but dear God...I just get so jealous and ANGRY that I can't ever be blissfully pregnant. I try, but it just doesn't work out. Now, when/if we every get pregnant again and have the nerve to announce it, I imagine people will probably look at us and say "oh. well, congrats...good luck" in that sad, pitying way. I HATE THAT. I hate that I have two babies I'll never meet. I hate that my parents and in-laws have two grandchildren THEY will never meet. I hate that my husband is hurting. I really, really, hate this.
I do have one friend at church who "gets it." She has suffered multiple miscarriages, a stillbirth and an infant loss (her 1 month old daughter died of SIDS). Yeah, she gets it. In fact, compared to her, *I* am the one who doesn't get it. For some reason, though, I can't even get up the nerve to talk to her about this. Part of me wants to ignore it and just hope it'll all go away, and part of me wants to scream so loud that there's no doubt how much pain I'm in. Sigh. Maybe I need some therapy.
| posted by Anna at 3:55 PM
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Jillian had this to say:
((((hugs)))) I don't know if you need therapy or not, but I don't think there is anything weird about needing to be a bit crazy over this. You've had your heart stomped on again and it hurts unbelievably. It's OK to be spinning in all directions right now and things will settle down so you can deal with them soon enough. Just keep getting it all out until you know the best way to heal yourself ok? Be gentle with yourself x
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Sara had this to say:
(Frantically waving hands in the air) I get it! Totally, Anna! You are going to be allright, sweetie, but go easy on yourself. Your wound is very new and raw, but you will heal. I will say a prayer for you tonight and know that if you need anyone, I am here!
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Emmakirst had this to say:
I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand what you are going through to an extent. I do have 4 children, but just lost twins (9wks) along, it was heartbreaking and I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I think all of what you are feeling is completely normal, it's part of the grieving process.(denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance) I still get angry hearing of new upcoming arrivals, I know I am grateful for my family but a part of me feels anger not happiness. I'm sure time will heal, but as for now, I'm right there with you and know you are in my prayers.
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Anna had this to say:
I get it too. I wish I didn't. I wish no one had to go through this kind of loss. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of Baby B; I know they'll be forever in your hearts. You and your family are in my thought and prayers. I'm so sorry for your loss.
